Why Me?
by Yami-chan and Unrealistic
Summary: By UR. When The Box Ghost is kicked out of the home he and the Lunch Lady were sharing, he goes to a reluctant Danny and begs him to stay with him until things clear up. Danny unfortunately agrees... but has no idea how INSANE the Box Ghost will drive him
1. Chapter 1

**This is a plot bunny by the wonderful Phantom Soldier, found in Purple Mystic's Idea Adoption Forum. Before you read, note that this IS a crack fic. Not meant to be taken seriously at all. Crack fics are NOT my best quality of writing however, so a lot will be left up to the imagination. Sometimes it's just better that way anyway.**

**So please, enjoy. I hope you laugh. This is part one of two.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Danny Phantom.**

**Why Me?**

Danny sighed in utter relief as he dropped back onto the run-down sofa in his apartment, which wasn't in much better shape than the sofa. He had just gotten back from a party at one of the Fraternity houses and being the designated driver for several friends, he was just happy to be back at his place for the night or more accurately, morning.

He yawned this time as he wore a half crazy smile. It wasn't often between the homework of an Engineering major, trying to keep his love life alive and fighting ghosts that he got to really sit down and relax.

Due to a major increase in the strength and skill in using his ghost powers, the ghosts had been forced to think through their plots more carefully, as they got a beating every time they tried something. Danny was just fine with this. The plots were getting more serious, but as long as he had time to get his studying done he wasn't going to start complaining.

To add to the relaxation, Danny had the apartment all to himself. Tucker was off at MIT. Sam was as far away from her parents as she could have possibly gotten, studying somewhere in Europe. Danny was left in Amity Park following his lifelong dream of being an astronaut. This coming summer he would start his internship at NASA. He missed his friends, but he did enjoy the quiet.

With nothing but the hum of the heater for noise, Danny sank back further ready to fall asleep at any moment…

But as his ice powers came out in a quick, short burst, Danny suddenly felt ready to deal out some major pain. "I'm goin' ghost…" He growled. These days it was much more of a warning to the ghost in the area than it was a battle cry.

He floated up off the sofa and scanned the apartment. Using basic battle instinct he quickly turned around, charging an ecto-blast.

"Do not hurt me!"

Well, he wasn't expecting THAT. As he turned he saw the Box Ghost. He looked normal enough. But there was nothing normal about the box-obsessed ghost surrendering before the fight had even started.

Danny almost didn't know how to respond. All he ever did to the ghost was beat him up and suck him up into the thermos. His brain tried hard to compensate. "Box Ghost…? What's going on…?" He asked, powering down his attack.

The Box Ghost looked around nervously. As if wondering if he should say anything. The second abnormal thing he had done today: think before speaking.

"Promise you will not harm me if I tell you all?" The ghost continued.

Danny nodded silently, not knowing what else to do. "Being who I am, I try to believe three impossible things before breakfast. Especially at…" He looked at the clock on the wall. "Three thirty in the morning…" He couldn't help but yawn again.

"I was kicked out of my lair." He said almost pathetically.

In the middle of his yawn upon receiving the information, Danny started choking in shock. It took a minute or so to get it under control. With wide, somewhat teary eyes from the intense coughing, he locked a flabbergasted gaze with the Box Ghost. "You were _what_?!"

"It is the Lunch Lady!" He cried, at a complete and utter loss of what to do, grabbing Danny by the collar to emphasize that Danny understand his trouble. "She is worse than normal in her mood swings! I said I liked a box of the meatloaf she had made. She then _yelled_ about how I did not like her cooking! She kicked me out!"

Danny stared. He did a mental math calculation and suddenly had a horrible feeling about where this was going. "The Lunch Lady kicked you out of _your_ lair?" He asked just to make sure.

"Well…it is both of ours…" Box Ghost confessed head downcast.

Danny sighed deeply, trying not to show the disgust on his face at the pairing he knew one day would come to pass. "Alright, we'll go back and I'll see if I can get her to calm down for you…" He suggested.

"NO!" He shouted. Danny shhhed him, as he figured the conversation was going to wake his neighbors. "You do not know how bad it is." He continued in a loud whisper.

"Then what do you want me to do about it?" Danny asked. He wanted to go to sleep so badly…

"None of the other ghosts will help." He began, gearing up for something big. "I would like to stay with you for a while."

"You…._WHAT_?!" He couldn't help but scream. Danny looked around nervously as he thought someone would come through the door at any moment. "You want to do what?" He asked again quietly.

"I would like to share your lair with you…but not in that way!" Box Ghost said quickly, a frightened look on his face. Danny felt nauseous at just the thought. "I need a place to stay until she has calmed down."

Danny sighed. As much as he really hated the idea, he felt that little bit of guilt crawl up his spine. He did feel sorry for the Box Ghost. Having little luck on the dating scene himself and a strong sense of helping others instilled in him, he found he couldn't say no.

"Alright, I guess I don't see any harm in you staying in my apartment, but you've got to control your box addiction and try to leave me alone. I've got enough on my plate as it is." He consented.

"MANY THANKS!" Box Ghost came about a millimeter too close to giving Danny a hug. Danny dutifully blasted him on the spot before he could do so.

"I'm going to bed." Danny told the charred ghost as he transformed back to his human appearance. He left the Box Ghost with dizzy eyes as he shut the door to his bedroom.

**:-):-)**

Danny's first mistake had been making a reference to his plate. His second mistake had been leaving the Box Ghost with only a few vague directions on what to do while living in the apartment.

He stretched his arms out, accompanied with a yawn. Looking at his alarm clock, Danny found that it was still the weekend and he wasn't late for any classes. He was glad for it.

Still half asleep Danny turned over onto his other side. He was met with a very rude awakening in the form of the Box Ghost's sleeping face inches from his own. Having never been in this type of situation before, Danny did the only logical thing he could think of.

He screamed in terror and fell out of his bed…then he blasted the Box Ghost out of his bed as well with a face of pure anger.

"HOW DARE YOU BLAST ME…" The Box Ghost began as he floated up beside the bed in his signature pose.

Danny, still on the floor, was trying very hard to calm down. He grabbed the Box Ghost by the collar of his shirt. "What were you doing SLEEPING IN MY BED?! With ME in it!"

"But it was the only bed in your lair…" Protested the Box Ghost.

"That's why I have a couch!" Danny yelled and pointed to the door to the main living area. "You can sleep there!" He paused. "You're a ghost! Why do you even need to sleep?!" He stuttered.

"Without nutrients from the Ghost Zone, I must SLEEP to regain my energy to collect and control the world's supply of boxes! Besides, I cannot sleep on a couch! Couches are not meant for sleeping in!" He said as if it were obvious.

Danny groaned and slapped his face. "I thought we were passed this whole 'boxes of the world' thing?"

"It is my ambition! It cannot go away!"

"Okay, look. I really don't want to deal with you right now. I'm going to make myself breakfast." He looked at the clock. "Lunch. Whatever. Just stay out of trouble." Danny ordered as he left the room, dropping his new roommate on the floor.

"Wait, let me make your meal for you!" Box Ghost said blocking Danny's way out with surprising speed.

Danny stared at him for a good while. "You're kidding right?"

"I must repay you for letting me stay in your lair! I learned some cooking skills from my beloved! I shall prepare your meal!" With that explanation, he left to cook some food. From inside the kitchen he heard a very disgusting sound that Danny hoped was not what he thought it was.

"That WAS NOT ME!" The Box Ghost protested. Ghosts could pass gas. Great. Just great.

Danny had a very bad feeling in the bottom of his stomach that this was only the beginning of a living nightmare.

**A/N: The other part will be up in a day or two…it's longer and a bit more funny than this.**

**Danny used a line from a very old BBC movie based on a very long running tv series in this chapter. You get a cookie and a plushie if you guess it. The line and the movie...**

**As always critiques, suggestions and well-wishes are appreciated. **

** See you soon.**

** -UR :-)  
**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

**Uh…lyrics are "You're My Best Friend" by Queen. I don't own it. I still don't own Danny Phantom either.**

**The song isn't fully here. My suggestion is to go listen to it while you read or something. It's one of those songs that can fit the opposite mood, making it perfect here.**

Danny sat at his table reading the paper as the Box Ghost made him breakfast. He was trying to ignore the cries of pain and crashes from the kitchen. He winced as he heard eggs sizzling and the Box Ghost yelling at the 'circular pans of doom'.

Several aches and pains later the Box Ghost came out with a plate of food. Danny sweatdropped and silently wondered how in the world he was able to make what was currently on his plate.

Tasting the meal, Danny felt like throwing up and almost did. The Box Ghost panicked, grabbed Danny and dropped him in his bed and threw a thermometer in the half-ghost's mouth all in worry that his host wouldn't get sick and was fully prepared to take good care of him. Danny winced at the thought, and silently was thankful he wasn't sick.

_Ooo. you make me live _

Later that day Danny was shopping for groceries. Picking up a box of cereal, his ghost sense went off as the Box Ghost came swooping in, making Danny's hair fly in the other direction, eyes shinning at so many boxes. Danny had to blink twice as he saw the Box Ghost sitting on a pile of cereal boxes, scaring costumers away from the isle.

Danny growled, eyes flashing green and blasted the Box Ghost on sight. He picked up the Box Ghost, eyes still green but in his human form. The ghost's eyes were dizzy as Danny yelled at him in the middle of the store. Upon noticing that the other customers were watching the display, Danny dropped the ghost with a sheepish look on his face.

_Ooo, you make me live  
I've been wandering round  
But I still come back to you _

_  
_In the afternoon Danny is trying to relax at the park. He's supposed to meet a friend of his from college there…a friend of the female persuasion. He'd only met her once at the party he had been to the other night and was hoping to make a nicer impression.

Unknowing to him the Box Ghost had been following him, even though Danny had explicitly told him back at the grocery store to go back to the apartment. He was starting to get bored, as there was nothing of interest to him at the park.

Danny stood up as the girl approached, she was dressed casually and the two then sat down on the bench and began to talk about school and other such things. The Box Ghost watched them intently, invisible and far enough away so Danny's ghost sense couldn't go off.

Then he noticed the girl's box-shaped purse and everything went downhill.

He appeared between the two, from behind the bench. Danny barely had time to register his ghost sense as the Box Ghost went after the girl's purse. She screamed and ran off as Danny tackled the Box Ghost before he could get too close to her.

Well, he'd probably never see her again.

Danny transformed into his ghost form and proceeded to beat the crap out of the Box Ghost.

_And I want you to know  
That my feelings are true  
I really love you   
You're my best friend_

Danny is sitting on his couch in his apartment later that week watching television in the evening. He flips through the channels boringly. Suddenly there is a knock at the door. He opens it to find two extremely beautiful girls who live a floor below him. They ask Danny if he wants to come to the party they're going to. Danny grins and is about to agree to their offer.

The Box Ghost unfortunately notices that these girls have _circular_ purses. Remembering the girl form earlier he found this to be a crime! He appeared dramatically, rising from behind Danny and yelling his signature 'Beware' all the while Danny having a look of dread on his face.

The girls scream and run away. The Box Ghost has a smug look on his face, thinking he has saved Danny. Expecting to be thanked, instead Danny is shaking with anger and turns slowly on the Box Ghost with glowing green eyes.

"Run" Danny mouths.

The Box Ghost does so.

_Ooo you're making' me live_

_Whenever this world is cruel to me_

The Box Ghost has led an angry Danny to the Ghost Zone. Many of the other ghosts witness this odd sight, but don't think much of it. At one point Technus had pointed and laughed at the fact that Danny still hadn't caught up with the Box Ghost. Danny responded to this by leaving Technus charred on the sidelines. The other ghosts then started to collectively laugh at _him_.

_You're the best friend  
that I ever had  
I've been with you such a long time  
You're my sunshine_

Danny thought back to all the other horrible things that had happened to him during the week the Box Ghost had stayed with him. He'd had to sleep on the couch to avoid another incident like that first morning. The Box Ghost kept cooking him odd-looking food that often wasn't very edible. So many chances for dates and potential girlfriends ruined because of something box-related and Danny's own 'safety'. All of these incidents ended in the Box Ghost getting blasted by Danny.

To keep him occupied, and because none of his dates had gone through, Danny found most of his time spent with the Box Ghost. They went to the Fair, the park and even somehow skipping through the fields of flowers in a very cheery background. The Box Ghost enjoying himself thoroughly and Danny scowling the whole time. In the middle of the field of flowers Danny finally stopped and blasted the poor, happy ghost.

_Ooo, you make me live  
You, you're my best friend._

Finally, in the middle of the Ghost Zone, Danny caught up to the Box Ghost. Grabbing him by his overalls Danny let him see the angry green eyes.

"This. Stops. Now!" Danny yelled. "We are going to your lair right now and we are getting things settled with the Lunch Lady so you can move back in!"

The Box Ghost was horrified at the idea. "NO! She will unleash her recipes of DOOM upon me should I ever step foot in the lair again!"

"You can't go in there, but she never said I couldn't." Danny resolved. "You just wait outside until I talk with her." Letting the box obsessed ghost go, Danny went inside the lair and shut the door behind him.

For several hours the Box Ghost floated there, nervously biting his teeth. He played with some boxes he kept in his overalls for a bit and he forgot about his dilemma for a while. His thoughts were broken as Danny came back out. He was still in once piece and was looking very calm. He dusted himself off casually.

The Box Ghost looked at him expectantly. "And…?" He said as a nervous wreck.

Danny sighed. "Well, I found out the reason why the Lunch Lady was acting so crabby. It's okay for you to go in there now. She's back to normal…and she's got a little surprise for you." He winked, all anger forgotten at the moment.

The Box Ghost entered the lair with confusion, but figured if the Lunch Lady didn't tear apart her enemy, she certainly wouldn't tear him apart. Danny followed him inside to see the reaction.

"Oh, Sweetie-pie, I'm so, so sorry!" Lunch Lady cried upon seeing her favorite ghost, scooping him up into a big, crushing hug. Danny couldn't help but gag silently in the background. "I didn't mean to get angry at you, but…well, let me show you the reason why. It'll make you as warm as a batch of freshly baked brownies."

She showed him a little bundle of blankets inside a picnic basket. Inside that little bundle was a figure Danny recognized very well, but was a first to the couple.

"Meet your daughter, Box Lunch. Isn't she just as cute as a Brusselsprout?" The Lunch Lady cooed.

The Box Ghost was speechless. Danny felt like video taping the moment just for that rare occasion. "Well…" He started, catching the attention of the new parents. "I'd better be off, leave you two be."

As Danny was about to exit through the door, the Box Ghost caught him in a hug. Danny's eyes widened and twitched. "THANK YOU HALFA! You have made this week the best of …of …" He stuttered as he found he couldn't quite finish the phrase.

"Your afterlife. You had the week of your afterlife." Danny quickly filled in, none too happy to still be there. "Now can I go?" He asked angrily in a single breath.

"First, in thanks, I shall make you Box Lunch's godparent!"

Danny cringed. "Uh, no thank you for the honor, but really I can't…" He lied through his teeth.

"Oh, but I INSIST! I will make sure she comes to visit you ALL THE TIME!" The Box Ghost continued on through Danny's increasingly horrified look.

"Oh, no. I couldn't take her away from her wonderful parents…I'm sure she wouldn't like me babysitting her anyway." Wrong choice of words.

"YES! And when we are too busy, she can live with YOU!"

Danny paled. "No, really you don't have to…"

"And now I must do you a favor for helping me restore my relationship!"

"Oh, no Box Ghost. You've done plenty of favors for me already; being able to help your daughter is more than enough…you don't have to do more…" Danny said with hopes, but not much.

"NO! I will help you fulfill your love life! It is the least I can dooo!"

**Two Days Later…**

Danny grumbled as he straightened his tie. The Box Ghost had been true to his word. He had a date tonight. A blind date. Danny didn't like blind dates, it meant he wasn't prepared.

The doorbell rang and Danny sighed as he opened the door. But he received quite the shock.

"Ember?!" Danny exclaimed as he saw the teenage ghost, dressed in her normal rock concert attire, floating outside his door.

Ember raised an eyebrow at her flabbergasted date. "Well, you're dressed all wrong and you're definitely not my first choice of date, but hey, beggars can't be choosers." She said unenthusiastically, while Danny still wasn't able to close his mouth. "Come on ghost-boy, I've got a rock concert to make an appearance at."

She proceeded to drag Danny off, with him still stuttering the entire way. Eventually he had the sense enough to change into his ghost form instead of getting dragged through the air. He sighed heavily as he decided he might as well give it a chance. After all, what could go wrong?

"Hey, Dipstick! Hurry it up! If we wanna make it to Wisconsin by eight we have to keep moving!" Ember yelled back at him, grabbing his arm again.

"Wisconsin?" Danny said surprised, getting that feeling in his stomach again. "Why are we going _there_?"

"Because Plasmius is letting us use the place, that's why. And…" She said, grinning wickedly in Danny's nervous and slightly blushing face. "If we rock hard enough he's gonnna let us use it again and again and again…so you had better make a good impression."

Danny gulped and sighed deeply, wondering exactly what kind of 'good impression' Ember was looking for. "Why me…?" He groaned.

**The End**

**A/N: Why Ember? Because Phantom Soldier requested it and I could not deny him. I could probably never write a full-fledged fic on it, but writing little scenes like that is waaaaay too much fun:D It's meant to take however you want it to be taken. **

**Overall? Great fun to write. The idea was amazing and I just couldn't pass it up.**

**Later.**

**-UR :-)**


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